Liar Liar

My favorite line in an email I got today was - You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself.

So true, so true. And what is so funny is that many times everyone else can see your lying to yourself and thinking your getting away with it, and they are usually just too polite to point it out anyway.

But why would I lie to myself?
Alas, I feel it has something to do with mirrors and mircophones. I would lie to myself because

I LOVE MYSELF MORE THAN I LOVE GOD.

I know when my actions or words are not the reflection of a vessel submitted to God's love flowing through me. I suppose in those moments I would rather not look in the mirror or listen to what God is saying so He has to resort to the microphone as of late. As I said earlier, I have agreed to listen without microphones, so life is much more peaceful these days.

GOD says, in Romans chapter 14—every man must be persuaded in his own mind that what he is doing is right. Happy is the man who is not condemned in his own heart in that thing he is allowing himself to do.

This feels like a perfect illustration of how I was functioning before I realized the manner in which God has been communicating with me lately. Well probably for my entire life, but I just got it. Obviously my actions were based on the belief however flawed it was, that it was okay to control my own environment and judge myself and others on how life was going. But in reality, I knew there wasn't authentic joy and peace under the surface. And nothing in my own power could provide that. So even in my own mind while I was trying to "persuade myself that what I was doing was right", God's was speaking and He was loving me and patiently waiting for me to choose to listen.