The Big JC

The Big JC Judgement and Control. That is the theme of my conversation with God lately.

I already got it that control is really an illusion and I am daily taking my hands off anything that is revealed to me that I still have my little strings of control on, so judgement is the next section of my curriculum apparently.

God is speaking to me through all creation, including my relationships with other people. One recent situation that I encountered has taught me alot about myself. It all started innocently enough, a friend fabricated a story to cover something they were ashamed for the world to know. That falsehood ignited judgement and then gossip. Gossip led to more judgement and unforgiveness. Which led to more judgement and strife. As I was called to respond for the other person's actions, God spoke to me about the situation itself and my reaction to it.

I myself did not react negatively, this was a direct resut of God dealing with me recently on not encouraging another to seek my approval for their actions. That person is God's amazing creation and their whole existence here is about their relationship with Him. If I feel they need to earn my approval then I am standing in the way of that relationship. I can also see then that I am desiring for them to look to man not to God for their worth. I am taking God's place and choosing to sit in judgement of whether their treatment of myself and others is acceptable, and how successful they are at accomplishing what I think they should be doing. That is me taking control of God's job of guiding and directing them for His purposes.

I wonder what would have happened if the person had never experienced judgement before that day, would they have felt compelled to create a falsehood? What did they believe would happen if they spoke truth or nothing at all? Could it be they feared being judged unacceptable in some way?

I realize that I have been very deceived. I have always considered it a great blessing that I am not a judgemental person, very forgiving and accepting. Did you catch that? Very FORGIVING and ACCEPTING. Interesting how God holds up the mirror to speak to me about myself and all I want to do is peek around it to look around at others faults. Get that mirror out of the way God, I can't see!

Then revelation, I was judgemental. If I wasn't judging why did I need to be forgiving and accepting of their faults. Somehow I was comparing and making sure my faults were not as bad as their faults. I was being God's little helper, judging and then acknowedging their flaws. Perhaps I believed I was being used by God to counsel them or trying to help them become a better person. Ha! Perhaps he was using them to hold up the mirror so He could counsel me and try to help me become a better vessel of His love.