Broken is Broken

I know its been several months but God is up to something big these last four months and my head is so full all day long, I don't know how to write it down. God is taking me and turning me upside down and inside out. My husband says I'm "out there". Well if I'm with God I am cool with being out there. God called a party tonight at 1 am, I was the only invited guest and I will share with you some of our conversation.

Many people close to me seem to be struggling with brokenness lately. For some it is their own brokenness, and for others it is the brokenness of people close to them. Either way I have experienced that we all are actually dealing with the reality of our own brokenness. As I have looked at my own brokenness, I realize I must choose one of two paths. Path #1 Stop and listen to what God has to say to them about their reactions to the situations. Path #2 Grip tighter to my belief that I am in control and can provide for my own emotional needs.

One comment during this time really struck me. "I am just glad my friend isn't as broken as your friend". What a funny comment, I was so thankful for it. It allowed me to see I might compare myself and others to determine if someone is acceptable. God quickly let me see the reality of the society we live in where people don't experience His unconditional love, but rejection from one who calls themself one of His.

BROKEN IS BROKEN there are no degrees. I may be able to hide some flaws better than others, but it doesn't change the fact I am broken. I am not functioning as I was designed if I am trying to get ANY of my needs met under my own power. If I look at another human being and believe they are more broken than I, I am deceived. Every man is born self focused, struggling to meet their own needs. Without Jesus, I am left to being my own god.

The only way to operate in a completely flawless condition is to acknowledge that I am unable to be my own provider, protector, healer, my own god. To step aside and leave behind the path of idolizing myself and my opinion about what is wrong with me or someone else. I need only to hand myself over to the one that knows all of my complexities, knows how I was designed and for what I was purposed. Allow God to be God and no one else.