Opposition

2 Timothy 25 Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth.

Actions-Malcolm Smith

My actions are only belated announcements of what I have been thinking.

I Talk Too Much

Every problem I have is because I am the center of my world and not God. I realize through helping others hear God's voice in Theophostic Prayer that God is speaking to me all day long. He pursues me longing for spiritual connection. He desires my full attention, but I am too busy focusing on my life. There are many days I talk to Him instead of with Him. If I feel something is lacking, I see I am trying to use my mind to make things go my way, being lord or my kingdom. I am deceived into self focused. I am created for the presence of Christ but I have forgotten He is in me and I am in Him. He alone is in charge, and that is best. If I am not pursuing my father and connecting with Him, I will become distracted and focus on myself. I want to be aware of His presence so I can see His full intentions for me. As I do this I have no doubts that God is with me and for me. What more could I need? His voice is the only one I need to hear, not my own.

Sin and Peace

I heard the statement recently every sin begins with a lie about God that is accepted as truth. I am allowing God to shine His light into my heart to reveal any area where I believe God is not enough. It is difficult to go to these places, for satan throws up lies of anger at others or shame at my own actions to keep me from opening my heart to truth. He tells me I need to take care of things on my own, I have to protect myself or control things for me to have happiness or peace. I know the depth of this deception and that is all that satan has, lies. I have experienced the peace and freedom that comes from the experiencing God's truth. The true healing that comes, healing that has no pain. The pain and shame, all gone. Only peace that remains. Peace that passes the world's understanding. Philippians 4:7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

His Presence

As I walk through my day, it is Christ's body that I direct. In all that I do, I am asking Him to partake with me. If I think negative thoughts toward someone, I am asking Him to share in that with me. As I realize this, I understand only wanting pure thoughts in my mind. I want to only listen to and watch wholesome things. And God calls to mind the scripture in Phillipians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. As I walk through the day, I meditate on this. I ask myself, Am I focused on Him to the extent that I am aware of His presence more than my own? Is this what it means to die to myself daily? To be aware that I am asking Jesus to experience life here on earth through me. As I am aware of how much He loves me, I only desire goodness and peace to come from my actions and thoughts.

Relationship

I realize I can't change myself. There is an empty place inside of me that I can't fill. I was made for relationship. The confusing thing is, the world tells me to seek that relationship here with other broken vessels. As I enter into these relationships, I find I get hurt, they are messy. I end up feeling betrayed, used, rejected and abandoned on some level. The empty place inside of me is still empty and I have baggage stacked in front of the wall I have erected around that empty place that I so desperately want filled. But since there is a barrier there, neither man nor God can fill that place. As God has taken me along this healing journey to wholeness, He has asked me to tear down the wall and to allow Him to take the burden of the baggage. He has shown me what a real relationship involves, allowing Him to fill the place He created in me. As I rest in my relationship with Him and open my heart to His love and truth, there is never judgement or condemnation there. Real relationship involves giving and receiving love without barriers to vulnerability, being me and allowing another to be them in their frailty, not expecting that they be perfect for us to continue. I in my imperfect human form, can attempt to emulate God's love in my earthly relationships. I know that even though my intentions are good, this will fail. I find myself looking at their flaws and wanting them to get their healing, but not expecting the same standard for myself. If it is done under my own power and control, I will end up failing those I love, because I am human and broken. Knowing that it is our very brokenness that brings us to our Father's feet for healing, I am at peace with this. If I will allow God to love those that are so important to me through my vessel, His love will not fail them. He alone can love them unconditionally through me. I cannot know or provide the things they need to have their empty place filled, because that place is reserved for their relationship with God alone. Any attempt on my part will be a poor replicate that will only bring the pain of loneliness in the end. I trust Him alone, for He is the healer and the only path to our wholeness.

Peace

Peace comes to me by seeing things through God's perspective. I acknowledge that all that I have and all that I am is part of Him, my life is a testimony of His presence. This was the thought God brought to me recently. I meditated on it for several days and then He led me to John 15:5,8 I am the vine; you are the branches, if a man remains in me and I in him he will bear much fruit apart from me you can do nothing. This is for my Father's glory, showing you to be my disciples. So my challenge is to focus on Him and what He is doing through me at any given moment. I have nothing apart from Him, no material possession, no relationship, no accomplishment, it is all a gift. My peace comes from understanding my position in Him. I am an honored guest invited to observe His magnificent interaction with humanity that He touches through my submitted vessel.