My way, my precious.

Romans 8:4 That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

My way! That's what I have programmed into myself all these years. Walking after the flesh. I have chosen to attempt to get all my needs met without God's help, instead of seeking God first and trusting Him to meet them. I know, I know, I was just being a good christian and lightening God's load, I only need to ask help from Him when its really big. Essentially I let God know he could save me, but I was going to be in charge of my life and the god of the things I wanted to handle because He had bigger things to take care of. I wanted a savior but not a Lord. Reminds me of the "the Precious" in the Lord of the Rings. It slowly convinced the bearer that the only thing that really mattered was itself. Only my precious is my life, my family, my time, . . .any area that I am trying to exert control in. Just like the characters in the movie, I was deceived into believing I didn't need a Lord I was doing good on my own with my precious. When I look to man or some earthly substance to meet my needs for love and provision, I am essentially cutting God out of the picture. Pretty harsh I know but sometimes the truth aint pretty for me.