Lord

Who is the real lord for me? Is God just a part of who I am or is He my life? God is revealing my god of self. So in reality I have always had another god that has a higher place in my life than the one true God. He has exposed me time and again, encouraging me to examine my own behavior and actions in light of what He is trying to teach me about myself. He uses times when I get angry with others actions or judge them. The scales are lifted one by one and I see that my own actions don't have anything to do with others, only me choosing my self and my desires over God. Even when I believed I was making choices out of love, it was ultimately because doing those things pleased me. He is showing me how I tried to make my way work and how I taught my family and friends by example that self was better than God. This is a very painful revelation to see how my self focused life hurt others also. I know this is part of the process that God began at the moment of my salvation. He is lovingly picking up my broken pieces and making me whole again as I willingly open my heart to Him. As I confess my self focus in trying to take care of and protect myself from hurt instead of trusting God, each piece is patiently restored. I am more aware of the extent of the deception I have embraced, although I feel sure there is more deception to be revealed. In His grace and compassion I know it is already forgiven. What Jesus did was enough and He opens my eyes so I will not cause more pain by pitying myself. Each time I press into my relationship with Jesus, I allow Him to take His rightful place in my Life.
Not only Savior but LORD.